Even If you Don't know Where You are, It Does Not Mean You're Lost
Or, How am I (We) to Know?

Mary Rogers, July 31, 2005
Scripture: Genesis 15:1-8; I Corinthians 13:8-13

The past two weeks of my sabbatical I was in the process of buying an air conditioning system. It was a nightmare. My AC works kind of, it runs at about 20% capacity which means that if it is above 80 degrees, I'm really hot. It also means that the system never turns off which has huge implications for the power bill. I spoke to four "reputable companies" who offered me four different sets of advice and if they happen to agree on even a part of the replacement plan, the cost estimates for the same exact products and services were vastly different. It was terribly frustrating. I felt like I was being taken, bamboozled, played. It didn't help much when I walked into church and ran into our air conditioned guy. He only does commercial AC's, but I trust him because he's connected to church through his father who was member. I felt certain he would give it to me straight. And he did. This was his advice: Mary Move. No kidding! That's what he said. He said I should move because the way my house is constructed, I will never feel satisfied with AC, especially upstairs. He added he wouldn't be surprised if I was being taken because now a days heating and air conditioning companies don't spend money training technicians they spend money training sales people. It is terrible when your fears of being taken are confirmed, especially when you have no recourse. So knowing that could not move, I went home laid out the four proposals, and in over-heated misery watched as Casey walked from the kitchen to the couch panting, How am I to know what to do? What is the right decision? What if I sink thousands of dollars into a new system and I still feel hot? What if it fails? How am I to know?

How am I to know. This is the same question Abram (later called Abraham) asked. Of course AC's were of no consequence to Abram but following the will of God was and his questions were of the same nature. Am I being taken? Does God really want me to do this? How am I to know? Abraham wanted to do the right thing, take the right path. But how we he know? God had made two covenants or promises with Abram. Follow me, believe in me and I will give you land and posterity. That was the first covenant.

The second covenant promised that he would be the ancestor of multiple nations, that his offspring would be as numerous as the stars. God wasn't calling Abram to preach, as we so often find in the Bible, Abram was being called to procreate. Which was utterly ridiculous? In fact, it was so preposterous a call was that when God told Abraham the promise: (And I quote from NRSV) "Abraham fell on his face and laughed and said to himself (As if God couldn't hear) "A bunch of kids, I'm a hundred years old, Sarah is ninety and barren. Hello? Yeah right. "He fell on his face and laughed."

I love that Abraham does that. Surely, if Abraham "the man of legendary faith" can fall down in laughter about following the will of God, then it gives us some credence to feel ok about our own doubts, our own anxieties, our own uncertainty when God asks us to do things that just don't make sense or that are even preposterous. Follow me and I will give you lots of children.

Now if Abraham had been a Presbyterian he would have laughed (granted probably not out loud) but after that laughter he would have taken the following of God seriously even if it did sound ludicrous. But he would have done his homework. He would have researched. He would have been responsible about his decision making. He would have been in contact with other people who have followed God to see the things they had learned. No need to reinvent the wheel. He would have explored how many women above the age of ninety had actually given birth to a child. He might have done a cost analysis to see if the promises were worth it. He would have weighed the risks….a move, children this is going to upset Sarah is it worth that? He would ask himself hard questions:

Why would I change things when things are really comfortable?

What do I do about all my friends who are going to remind me that all evidence points to just how absurd and unreasonable this following the will of God is or at least seems to be.

What if I am misunderstanding what God is leading me to do?

What if I fail?

What if I just plain don't want to do it.

I wonder if the need to research to the point of certainty ever immobilized one's ability to move.

How is he to know? How are we to know.

Here are few points to ponder as you try to know the way God is calling you and the way God is calling this church:

Here's the first one: Throughout the Bible people receive only partial glimpses of God and the truth of God's will for us. Knowing at its very best is only partial. So if you are the type who needs the entire plan laid out in detail you might be out of luck. As the passage says we see through a mirror dimly. Partial glimpses. But they are enough. When Abram said: how am I to know? God does not really answer the question but responds with repeated assurances. Verbal and visual. Every evening, Abraham saw the stars in the heavens which would be the number of his descendants. Every single night, a genuine, but partial glimpse, a reminder, a sign of what God had promised. Partial glimpsed make us uneasy. The safer thing is to have the whole plan. Thank God Abraham had the memory of the night skies when he woke up the next morning and still had to figure out which way to go. "Do I turn left at the river or cross it and keep going straight? Genuine, but partial glimpses of knowing. Partial glimpses, no revealed, detailed plan. As much as we want to research and make sure that we are we doing the right thing ultimately trust and faith is required for movement.

Which brings me to the second point: Following God, knowing, requires movement. Singer David Wilcox in his song Hold it Up to the Light conveys the struggle to move. He sings: "I said God: Will you bless this decision? I'm scared. Is my life at stake? But I see if you gave me a vision ( a complete one that is, ) would I never have reason to use my faith! He continues: "I was dead with deciding, afraid to choose. Mourning the loss of the choices we'd loose. But there's no choice at all if we don't make our move and trust that the timing is right.

Another thing to remember about movement is that it can take. a long long time. When Abraham asked the question aching in his heart, it was after years of waiting for a child and a land God had promised a long long time ago. This teaches us that maybe the process is as important as the end destination. Oh Lord how am I to know? It took Abraham decades of mistakes and detours, glimpses and signs, repeated assurances and dialogue with God to in order to reach the point of truly believing and trusting in the promise that God would give him Isaac. It took Joseph decades of experiences of nearly being killed by his brothers, sold into slavery, and being imprisoned unfairly to mature from a seventeen year old brat who flaunted his status as father's favorite son into a leader of an Empire and a family member who could forgive his brothers. It took years before he was able to understand and say to his brothers: "You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good — before he blessed them."

Here's the last point to tuck away in your pocket Once you moved, even if you don't know where you are, it does not mean you're lost. (Joe Moss told me that was the definition of a man. I told him I had a much more theological point to make). As we seek to know and follow God's will for each of our own lives and for this church we do not have to be afraid, or become dead with deciding because even if we don't know where we are won't be lost. No matter what way we take: The highway, the rural route, the bike path or even the wrong turn God will work in it, and through it for good. That is our comfort that is the gospel.

Here's a recap:

1. Partial glimpses.
2. Must make move.
3. It can take awhile.
4. You're never lost even if you think you are.

Now, you know I cannot end this sermon with out giving you an update on my air conditioning: I am dead with deciding, which means I'm still hot!

© Copyright, 2005, Rev. Mary Rodgers
All Rights Reserved.
Providence Presbyterian Church
Fairfax, Virginia